therapy for self-discipline & procrastination
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There used to be an old cartoon that got Xeroxed and posted on office walls before the days of email. It said: "The beatings will continue until morale improves." Trouble is, a lot of people do that to themselves (emotionally beating themselves up) thinking that this will improve their performance. Nope. Here's a better idea: learning how to feel actual joy in the small accomplishments and feeling there's a fun, conquerable challenge in rooting out or overcoming the problems, weaknesses, or hurdles in the way of your goals. The methods for doing this are different for each situation, but optimizing how you relate to yourself while focusing on your tasks is crucial for mastering self-discipline.
Procrastination is a uniquely human behavior. Spiders are never behind in weaving their webs, bees are never behind in collecting pollen, caterpillars are never behind in spinning their cocoons, and ants are never behind in all the tasks that sustain the colony! When I work with you on procrastination, we work toward procrastination becoming less of a mindless habit, so that you are truly making conscious choices about where you put your focus, time, and energy. First, you need to be thoughtful and reasonable about what you are planning to do at certain times (scheduling), and I help you evaluate that. Then, if you find you are not doing what you planned at that time, it's useful to consider: What are the pros/cons of what you planned to do? What are the pros/cons of what you are doing instead? Are there specific expectations or attitudes that are getting in your way? Are they realistic or helpful? It may be fine to change your plan: our goal in therapy is for you to be clear with yourself that you are changing it, and that you know why. And then make sure to reschedule the thing that isn't getting done right now. This is all easier said than done, at least at first, but it is a set of skills I can help you learn and practice until it really is second nature--a mindful and healthy habit.
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