therapy for intimacy issues
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Anyone not afraid of intimacy and openness either has never been hurt in their connection with others (and who might that be?), or has no real sense of what intimacy means. If we have felt the hurt or shame of having our open heart rejected, then naturally it becomes scary to take the risk of being open-hearted. But this kind of risk-taking is what makes it possible to actually feel and benefit from real connection: the safety, warmth, togetherness, and the comfort that relationships can provide us. Having been wounded (especially if it happened frequently) can cause people to build a wall instead of learning how to skillfully use a shield. We all need protection and the ability to distance or disconnect when it's appropriate, but there should be flexibility. Therapy can help you be more nimble so that you can defend yourself effectively against harm but also allow in the good things.
The experience of having a truly intimate connection with another person is something most of us crave, and it can be life-changing. It's complex, involving feeling secure enough within yourself to be emotionally open to someone else, developing the ability to tolerate conflict when it arises, and having some faith that the other person will not intentionally blind-side you. Working to improve all three of these in therapy means digging deep for insights, and a willingness to try to think and behave differently. I guide you in developing a road map and specific skills, and offer support to help you get there.
main phone: 303-547-3700
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